Sunday, January 9, 2011

Home sick...

That's what I'm feeling right now... weird I know - I'm sitting in the house I'm living in, but it just doesn't seem like home any more.  My home is where my husband is, and he isn't here.  PLUS its his birthday today - and I can't even give him a hub... <sniffle, sniffle> Yeah I'm whining - I just feel like whining today.  I'm missing how things 'use' to be - I need to start looking towards how things are GOING to be.  I am looking forward to that - its just taking so long!!  I still have stuff I need to get around - but I think things here are pretty much set.  Its just getting the kids all the way moved in - and I don't need to be here for that - but I am going to help - I said I would... I just want to get on with the next phase of my life.  Gary is already out there doing it - I want to join him!!  I had a couple folks over for my volunteer stuff - and I will be so glad to hand that over.  I'm just burnt out with it.  I know I'm passing it on, and I just don't want to do anymore with it - but I have to... sigh... so that is my goal for next week.  Get THAT done - and I can say I'm over it!! Then I can start my packing process - making sure I have everything I will need.  Actively DOING something towards where I'm going is what I need to be doing - today I just haven't because I was tying up loose ends.  I also haven't been eating right either... I KNOW better, but I have an excuse list a mile long - LOL!  (as I sit here typing after having a LARGE serving of SF chocolate icecream - excuse - celebrating Gary's birthday even though he's not here) - well I think I will actually do some studying.  I sure do hope the lawn gets mowed soon though... I have held off on doing it, because I was told Morgan 'liked' mowing lawns - well its been 'not raining' and tomorrow is the last day of the pause between rain storms... my (sorry their) lawn is starting to look like a hippy - LOL!  (small pet peeve I guess - since I have taken pride in HAVING a front yard with real grass for the first time ever) Ah I can feel the 'coma' coming on from the icecream - the SA will hit in a few - so signing off for now...


  1. I totally get this!! Your home is where your heart lives and your heart lives with wonder nothing feels right and you are doing the comfort food thing!
    We had a gathering today to celebrate my son's life...this was the five year anniversary. David was only 28 when he passed, but he toughed so many people, and so...I headed straight for the tequilla!! Don't feel so good tonight, but it was a nice party and fun to have everyone that loved David in one spot!
    We are only human and can just do so much to be strong.......

  2. I give you both so much credit (though you certainly don't need it from me) for so jumping out of your comfort zone and doing something so different! And doing it together! All the best to both of you!