Thursday, October 28, 2010

Unconscious Munchies

Why is it I sit at the desk at work - I know I'm not 'hungry' - I have a drink (ice tea) in front of me - yet I feel the need to grab for my lunch box and find something SOLID.  I know I can't have anything to drink after eating, and I know I haven't had enough fluid this morning, so why to I reach for it... mmmm... habit?  Yeah - that could be one of the reasons.  My 'work' is in a 12x12 room watching a little one (been with him for 11+ years - not quite so little any more :) and besides reading (and now computer stuff) and the obligatory paperwork,  there isn't too much to do. So I ate.  Sedentary job + unconsciously shoveling food in my mouth = morbidly obese ... yep that WAS me.  I don't want to be able to say that IS me, so instead I'm 'blogging' about it - LOL!  Why not - I've been trying to think about what and where I want this 'blog' to go... I don't know that it will 'GO' anywhere.  I'm going to take a comment that was written to heart and just basically make this a 'journal' of sorts.  A place to put thoughts and musings - hence the name I guess "Scattered Thoughts".  There won't be any particular focus - at least not intentionally - and I will try not to whine too much - LOL!  That won't be easy - it seems like I want to 'vent' and it comes out as a whine. 

One thing I haven't been doing recently is visiting the forums like I use to.  When I first thought about WLS, I started looking into the forums.  I found one (it was listed on a paper handed out my my surgeon's office) and it was (and still is) confusing to navigate around and keep track of posts and messages.  Its a popular forum though and there are LOTS of info... it didn't seem to have any moderators though - there was some bashing that I read and that kinda turned me off from them... I found another one that I could navigate around in and there was a way to track what I posted and where I posted and would even let me know about replies... OK - I liked that one... however there was a distinct focus on it - and I can understand why - it is sponsored by a business.  The info was good though - and there are some really good folks there.  That's where I stayed for quite a while.  I got to know the folks cyber wise and even hosted a couple 'gathers' so we could meet in person.  Then I started branching out - I found another forum that had just as good information - it wasn't slanted toward 'the business' - and wasn't as narrow in their out look.  I also found one that was very small - (not a bunch of active members) - and that was nice as well. 

So where is this story going?? I'm not really sure... just something I've noticed.  I have been spending much more time on FaceBook... supporting and reading there than any of the forums.  I go back now to read on the forums - but I almost feel disconnected from them.  There are so many new people - and I  - I don't know - just don't feel like 'talking' on them.  I should though - I have a business that I'm trying to build.  To do that I need to 'network'...  I just don't want'ta **said in a whiny voice**  Maybe because I was looking at it as work - instead of just enjoying giving and receiving the support.  Almost like I was starting to look at this 'blog' - work - and work is a four letter word.  Soooo I think I will quit beating myself up about not being on the forums like I use to - and start just 'enjoying' what ever time I do spend on them... maybe post... maybe not... but stop making it into a job. 

Well I distracted myself away from the 'munchies' so that goal has been achieved - LOL - now to go get another glass of iced tea...