Tuesday, October 12, 2010


Earlier today I read my nephew's blog and I guess it made me a bit 'contemplative' (wow - that's a big word for me - LOL)... not so much in a bad way, but made me think about why I/we might be where we are right now.  Not just where I'm sitting (which is work - yeah blogging while I'm at work - shhh - don't tell the boss) but in life in general.  Having the surgery, starting a business, resigning from my volunteer job, walking a financial tight rope and not doing it well, taking care of Momma, blogging and self reflecting... WHY am I here doing what I'm doing?  So many times I forget that I'm not in this alone.  Yeah I have my husband (my rock and soft place to fall) and my daughter (my joy and treasure) - but I also have God... I just don't lean on him like I should - and share my burdens with him.  I try to shoulder them all myself, and wonder what else should I do... instead of asking him what I should do.  Not that I would magically hear his voice saying 'you should do .....'; but ask him to guide me in making decisions that go along with his plan for me.  Its hard to let go of the reins though... to trust him like I should - that I am right were he wants me to be - doing what I need to be doing. 

So with this heavy contemplation I wanted to remember my blessings and not just my difficulties.  Some of them - in no particular order besides how they popped into my head:

My Husband - for being my rock (always being there when I needed a hug or shoulder - even a swift kick at times) and my soft place to fall (where I feel safe, loved and cherished)
My Daughter - who has grown up to be a wonderful young lady, with so much tenderness and caring within her; and a heart that over flows at times.
My Dad (and Mom - in her own way - but that is a story for another time) Gave me my foundation - and with out the BOTH of them, I wouldn't be who I am today.
The little one sitting on my lap trying to get my attention and making me laugh :) he helps bring to view how life could have been so different.
My health - that had gotten bad enough for me to want to change it for the better.
The life that God has given me so far... that is a BLESSING... even with the challenges and stresses - those are blessings as well - for they make me strive to be better than I was.

Life is change - not sure what those changes will end up being - not sure if I will 'like' those changes - but as my Dad would tell me - - "cross that bridge when you come to it". Plus you never know - it just might be one of the best things that has happened to me so far :)

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