Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I wonder...

I wonder if I have any Manic/Depressive tenancies?  Oh not to where I get psychotic or anything... but while looking it up on WebMD (and you know you can trust EVERYTHING you read on the web - LOL) I spotted this:

What Are Signs of Hypomania With Bipolar II Disorder?

Signs of hypomania with bipolar II disorder include:
  • Decreased need for sleep - I slept maybe 5 hours last night a very lightly at that...
  • Extreme focus on projects at work or at home Yeah - focused on the 'Support Group' idea tonight.
  • Exuberant and elated mood - another one here - I'm stoked with the idea of starting up a Support Group - and learning new skills - meeting new people.
  • Increased confidence - Possibly - look at above responses... would I do that 'normally'?
  • Increased creativity and productivity - productivity - a bit more - as time allowed today.
  • Increased energy and libido - yeah - increased energy.
  • Reckless behaviors - Nope I don't think so...
  • Risk-taking behaviors - Again I don't think so. 
This is almost how I felt when I decided to 'start' the store. It was a good thing (I think) that I started it.  Time will tell, but so far so good.  This isn't the first time that there have been marked ups (or at least that I took notice of them) - and I know I have downs (don't like those - LOL) - so I'm wondering - is what I'm feeling the normal ups and downs everyone has, or are they more pronounced than 'everyone else'.  I think the reason why I'm noticing it more is that I have been paying attention to myself and how I'm FEELING more.  Not just taking for granted that this is the way I am today.  I'm noticing thoughts vs. actions and the feelings along with them.  This is a good thing - one that I probably should have done YEARS ago.  I have thought about 'talking' with someone - not just about what I'm going through now - life in general and other stresses - but my past and how that might be effecting me now.  I don't think I will be doing that any time soon though - $$ is the main consideration there.  So for the time being - I will continue to read and self 'talk to' via this blog and introspection - that will just have to do for now. 

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