pa·tience/ˈpeɪʃəns/ Show Spel[pey-shuhns]
1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
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What a precious commodity that is!! It has been totally used up today... now I am just fatigued, depressed, frustrated... by what you might ask? Oh a number of things... and if I went into detail I would be seriously WHINING - and OH do I really want to!! However I do know this is sort of public here - I am putting it out there - but this is also my 'life' I'm blogging/journaling about... and right now its a very frustrating/stressful life. Yes I do know others have it harder - and yes things could be worse - and no I don't want them to be worse - I DO want them to get better - but some things won't GET better... in a single word - Momma. Other things will take time and waiting - and I don't like waiting - because I would like to know the outcome NOW!! Another thing is computers and programs and stuff I am not that good at - and all the CRAP that goes with them!! Can we say FRUSTRATION here? Still other stuff I pray will get better - but I'm scared that it might just get worse - hence the stress.
During this stress/fatigue/frustration - I would really like to eat myself senseless - so I don't have to feel any of this ... well sort of. I find myself wanting to, but not wanting to.... it's like a vicious circle in my head - go ahead/NO don't/go ahead, you know you want to/NO DON'T - needless to say, I'm not always successful listening to the NO don't voice... sigh... but sometimes I am. I sure hope it gets easier - because right now - its not so easy!!