Monday, November 1, 2010



1.  the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
Definition provided by 
What a precious commodity that is!!  It has been totally used up today... now I am just fatigued, depressed, frustrated... by what you might ask?  Oh a number of things... and if I went into detail I would be seriously WHINING - and OH do I really want to!!  However I do know this is sort of public here - I am putting it out there - but this is also my 'life' I'm blogging/journaling about... and right now its a very frustrating/stressful life.  Yes I do know others have it harder - and yes things could be worse - and no I don't want them to be worse - I DO want them to get better - but some things won't GET better... in a single word - Momma.  Other things will take time and waiting - and I don't like waiting - because I would like to know the outcome NOW!! Another thing is computers and programs and stuff I am not that good at - and all the CRAP that goes with them!! Can we say FRUSTRATION here? Still other stuff I pray will get better - but I'm scared that it might just get worse - hence the stress.

During this stress/fatigue/frustration - I would really like to eat myself senseless - so I don't have to feel any of this ... well sort of.  I find myself wanting to, but not wanting to.... it's like a vicious circle in my head - go ahead/NO don't/go ahead, you know you want to/NO DON'T - needless to say, I'm not always successful listening to the NO don't voice... sigh... but sometimes I am.  I sure hope it gets easier - because right now - its not so easy!!


  1. Paula -- I am sorry you are going through this difficult time -- you have to bear a great deal, caring for momma, your family, your job, your "new" self, etc. I cannot even imagine how that would feel, to care for someone like momma. I have a hard enough time caring for myself and my husband - ha! just kidding.....I pray tomorrow will be a better day for you, friend, and try not to beat up on yourself too badly if you have slipped with the eating. I can relate to that as well -- I am a stress eater and boredom eater, both of which I am dealing with but NOTHING like what you are dealing with today. Bless your heart....hang in there Paula!

  2. Thank you so much ((HUG)) - I'm doing a bit better this morning - the well of patience has been filled over night... its not 'full' but its better than yesterday - LOL!