Thursday, December 30, 2010

Flying by the seat of my pants...

I remember my Dad saying that - and that was one of his favorite expressions.  I miss my Dad - but that's for another post.  I think he would be amazed at what we are doing - but I think he would also be happy for us, and maybe even a bit proud.  I would like to think that anyway, so don't pop my bubble - LOL!  I'm just taking it one day at a time and trying not to 'what if' myself into a frenzy.  Just tackling one thing at a time.  Now if I'm prioritizing things right or not - time will tell.  Getting Gary set up and going is the first priority right now.  He's done all the hard work though.  Passed the schooling and is going to be 'shipped' off to Fontana for the 'training' part.  I PRAY that he gets a good trainer and not an A$$#0!E... one that teaches and not just use him as an extra log book.  He won't need too much of the driving part - but the QualCom (computer logging) and trip planning etc. that type of stuff I think he would need more of.  Me - I need the driving AND that stuff - LOL!  I WILL have faith in my self though... I WILL do this... I WILL pass the schooling and the training and join Gary on the road.  Things WILL work out the way they are suppose to - I just hope its the way we think it will be - LOL!  I picked up 20# of protein the other day - figuring the powder weighs less and will be easier to pack (he gets half/I get half) - space will be at a premium!!  He will need to pack the protien and vits - PLUS clothes for a week or two (who knows how often he will be able to wash his clothes).  So the adventure begins for the first half of the team - and he will be able to let me know what I will need to pack.  Plus I want to be able to ship him stuff that he won't be taking with him for when we do get our own (company) truck... such as map books and tools.  I will figure that out though - one step at a time...

Monday, December 27, 2010

5 days and a wake up...

Thats how much longer Gary will be here in Sac.  Then he is off on his/our new adventure!!  It IS exciting - but its scary too.  The 'unknown' - taking 'the chance'.  Will it work out?  Will we make it? Will I pass the schooling??  I'm also realizing how I won't be seeing people (in person) that I do now for quite a while.  Even then - even when we plan on see them, it might not come to pass on the dates we want.  Such is 'trucking'.  The front bedroom though is coming together.  Its all painted and a couple pieces of furniture have been moved in.  Its suppose to rain tomorrow - but clear again on Wednesday (consideration for moving the kids stuff over) - so hopefully Gary and I will be able to share at least 1-2 nights in the new room before he leaves.  That would be nice.  The plan right now is for me to start school the first part of February.  That way the kids are totally out of their apt, and moved in... we can make sure the 'scan the mail' process is working... and coordinated paying bills.  I figure there will be a few bumps - but with the internet/e-mail/Skype/cell phones we will stay in pretty good contact.  I NEED to get to Sam's Club/Costco - we are out of our base protein (yes I have a supplement business, but I don't want to use up all the product in the store - and I use the Nectar Proteins as treats since they taste so good!!) and a few other staples.  I have just been SO busy with the room - car pooling (finally have 2 running vehicles - and just one week left of needing them) - moving our stuff around and trying to figure out what to keep and what to toss... The hall bedroom - that we were going to use as storage - is now to be the nursery.  Which needless to say - I don't mind at all <BSEG> - but that means we need to 'go through' stuff in a shorter period of time.  I have a feeling the front bedroom will turn into a 'store room' of our stuff - LOL!  Well I need to scoot - I'm at work (going to miss these guys here too!! 12 years I've been with this family - sigh - seen them ALL grow up) and need to chart - and I have personal bookwork to do.  Nice now that everything is on the laptop - I can do my bills and stuff while I'm at work :) Well G'Night all...

Friday, December 24, 2010

Blessings...

Yep its that time of year to think about the blessings that I have recieved.  A time of gratefulness and thanks - yeah Thanksgiving is another, but I'm feeling contemplative today - LOL!  I am VERY blessed.  No - I'm not monetarialy rich, I'm not fall over gorgeous, I'm not uber smart.  However I am rich with friends and family - that is something money can not buy.  We have enough money that we have a roof, food and clothing - that's more than quite a few people have.  We don't have so much that we become unmindful of money.  I'm not to hard to look at (or at least I like to think that) - and I'm getting more and more comfortable in my saggy skin :) I might not be uber smart - but I'm not dumb either.  I seem to still be able to learn (which is a good thing) and with this change in career - I will be keeping my mind active learning and doing new things!  My family though is my greatest treasure!!  Let me start with my husband - how very proud I am to be able to call him husband!  He is my 'home'.  Where I feel safe, loved and cherished.  My daughter who has grown into a beautiful woman!! I am so proud of how she is handling life.  The choices that she makes and the views that she has.  The husband that she chose (and that chose her) we are also blessed with.  One that loves and cherishes her and makes her happy... that is all we wanted for her is to be happy!  They are also blessing us with a grandchild!!  I'm happy we are still on this earth and able to see this.  We might not be in town, but we are in their lives - for that I am grateful for.  There are so many other things - I could go on and on - but I won't... at least not here.  You just might get bored - LOL!

Its good for me look on the wonderful things in life - and it warms me to realize just how many gifts God has given me.

Merry Christmas everyone - This next year I will continue this wonderful journey called life (and will
BLOG about it) - and it will mostly on the highway - LOL!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

My baby is having a baby!!

That means I'm going to be a GRANDMA!! Needless to say - I had to call everyone I know (well 4 folks anyways) and post it on Facebook - now I get to BLOG about it - LOL!  Everyone is going to get tired of hearing about it - LOL!  You want to see some pictures??  OK - don't have those yet - but I will :D  I just hope she has as great a pregnacy as I did... I loved being pregnate!  Just a little bit of nausea in the evenings - but only for a couple weeks.  Then I ate for 2 and enjoyed every minute of THAT - that's where I gained 100#... I can't blame that on her though - I wasn't able to get rid of it without surgery (but that's another story).  Now I know that the baby will take what ever nutrition it needs WITHOUT the Mom having to double do the food. (wish I had known that then) What Mom needs to do is just make sure her own nutritional needs are met, that's it.  Now I knew when we decided to 'truckers' that EVENTUALLY they would have kids and we would be out on the road... however its coming sooner than I expected.  That's ok though.  I'm happy. The timing is just as it should be.  The house and the trucking and Momma - all that was decided BEFORE the news of the baby.  None of these decisions were make BECAUSE of the baby.  I am so amazed at the works of God sometimes (although why I should be - I have no idea).  I look back and see the path Gary and I have come, and the way things have happened.  There really is a 'plan'.  Anyway - just had to share!!


Another day closer...

Well I sent my letter out to my volunteer job - letting them know I'm leaving home.  Now to just tie up loose ends there and pass it to who ever ... right now I have short-timers attitude and am SO glad I'm leaving the politics and back stabbing and 2 assholes behind.  You know what else is freeing - I don't care right now if they know I think they are hemorrhoid free and 100% perfect asshols - LOL!  Anyway - we have been juggling 1 'legal' vehicle between 2 households since last week - that will end as of today - WOO HOO! Also taking in the green truck to get it worked on FINALLY so it will be 'legal' (not able to smog it due to the #### computer!)... we 'should have' done it sooner, but hey - robbing Peter to pay Paul just isn't condusive to vehicle matainance - it sucks though that repair costs so much more.  Yeah I know a ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure... how right THAT is!!  Well off to do a bit more 'clean up' on the front bedroom before I swap vehicles at the repair shop ... need to get that ready for Gary and I to move into so the kids can move their stuff in... bye for now :D

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Family Gather

It was SO good to see family yesterday!  Sure - not everyone could make it - and that is understood.  Life and other commitments to tend to crop up - we've had our share let me tell you!!  LOL :) As things get closer and closer to where I will have to say bye to Gary for a couple months - and deal with things here without him - I'm getting a bit anxious.  Will I make the right decisions?  Will I do everything I need to do?  How long will it take me?  Will I pass the schooling?  Will I be able to drive one of those things?  What happens if??  Then I remember this is a leap of faith - and put it right back on 'God's' shoulders.  That helps.  I just wish we wouldn't be separated for so long.  The longest we (Gary and I) have been apart is just a few weeks - now we are talking about a few months - sigh... I also have to get things ready for my volunteer job - I made a commitment there that I have to follow through with.  I would love to just turn everything in and say "you deal with it" but then it would land on just one set of shoulders, and I don't want to do that.  So now to start work on the 'front bedroom' which is where we will be staying when we get in town...

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Bitter Sweet...


Such a wonderful group of friends and family!!  We are making the rounds and saying 'good bye for now's and 'we will see you as we drive through town's.  REALLY great to see everyone - but sad when we realize it will be quite a while until we see everyone again.  Thank goodness for the internet (FB/email) - we can at least keep in touch and know how everyone is doing.  This is just the beginning of the 'good bye for nows' though - we have another one on Monday (tomorrow).  I am glad we are doing this - I think it will be the best thing for all of us - but it just isn't easy.  I feel for Lynn - being in the middle and trying to make everyone happy.  Them not wanting to loose 'their' stuff as the households merge - but also trying to take into concideration our feelings when property needs to be thinned. Gary... he has deeper roots here than I do.  My home is him - where ever he is I'm home.  Buildings and material possessions - yes then mean something - but I'm not as tied to them as others seem to be.  So its a fine line we are treading.  Well off to start doing some house cleaning - its a mess and a bit chaotic - LOL - but hey, thats how we roll!!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Thursday morning challenge...

Woo Hoo - yesterday Gary passed all his tests except for one - his vision test - new glasses and then back to DVM to retake it.  Well he let the instructor at school know that we would be going to DMV as soon as they opened to finish the vision part and get his permit.  We got there with time to spare (my Daddy taught me right - "get to the train station BEFORE the train leaves" - that was just one of his favorite sayings).  As we are sitting there in the 35* foggy morning - we start to get cold so start my daughter's PT Cruiser to run the heater.  The check engine light came on (wasn't lit on the way there) - mmmm - wonder what is causing that.  So we do the turn the key on 3 times thing to get the code.  Ok we will need to look that up when we get home.  So into the office we go - do all that stuff - now back out to the car to head to class w/permit.  Car won't start!!  It gurgles at us (glug, glug, glug) - sounded like it was 1)flooded 2)vapor locked.  We eventually get it started and pull out of the DMV and down the street about 500' - stop for a light and the car DIES!!  Not even a click now when turning the key.  Lights work - windows work - turn key NOTHING!!  Sigh - so now we need to figure out 1) how to get Klingon back to class (he already has a ride home) 2) get me to work 3) now that we need to use the dodge that my daughter was using how does SHE get to work...

So what did we learn first thing this morning 1) patience 2) cooperative sharing 3) coordination of effort 4) how to look at a situation and work out a solution - might not have been a FUN morning - but we made it though. 

Now to figure out how we are going to do tomorrow - no word yet on what happened w/the car except that it was something electrical and to do with the radio - a short and blown fuses - and how much is this going to cost???

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Busy - Busy :)

WOW I feel accomplished today - LOTS done!!  Still a lot more to do, but that's OK. 

Its seems like Momma is settling in - or they are getting use to her - LOL!  Visited today without letting them know I was coming (that's the way we will probably do it most of the time) and she was in the chair with 2 other ladies - chocolate on her finger (probably her calcium chew) and petting the dog.  She seemed happy just chatting away.  She didn't know who I was but giggled when I gave her a hug and kiss on the forehead. 

Preparation continues for Lynn and Morgan to move into the house.  Fence is up and the 'boys' (2 dogs) will be coming over tomorrow to check for holes - LOL!  They will have about 1/2 acre to run on - so much nicer for them than a 2 bedroom apt :)

Gary is stressed about taking the permit test tomorrow.  I know he will do fine, but that's just him.  Then I guess they will get behind the wheel.  I can't wait until it's my turn!!  I"ve been trying to drive the pickup with an imaginary trailer behind it... squaring the corners and such - making sure that 'trailer' doesn't hit the curbs - LOL!

Also today I have really been concentrating on eating.  Even if I wasn't hungry I MADE the time to eat something before I came to work.  I had my 2 scoops in the AM.  Then for lunch I had a mini quiche my daughter made up... that was tasty!! Now here at work - 1 apple w/peanut butter - 3 string cheeses - and I have a small serving of meat loaf to go.  I purposely chose the peanut butter and the cheese because I know they are calorie rich foods.  So I figured that I would at least get calories - plus the cheese and peanut butter have 'some' protein... and the meat loaf is almost all protein - so I'm making sure I get that and my vits in FOR SURE!  Oh and lets not forget fluids!!  It was 'nicer' in a way when I didn't HAVE to think about what I ate.  Of course that is how I got to be 320# too.  So I guess I will take being uber aware of my intake to keep what I have lost - LOL - if that makes sense :)

Monday, December 13, 2010

WLS Stuff...

Well I hit an all time low (except when I was growing up) the scale read 155# this morning.  This is the lowest I have been since I have no idea when.  I haven't been trying to loose any more weight either.  I have been getting so busy and distracted that I have been forgetting to eat.  I have been reminding myself to get in my fluids - and I have been taking my vits - but taking the time to 'eat' is hard.  Then when I do take the time, its like things have shrunk back to almost an early post op status.  Got an Angus Chili from Smash Burger  and ate not even half of it and was full (yes I did have a few (6-7) fries off my daughter's plate)... then took it to work and still couldn't finish it.  Tried to increase the calorie count by having a string cheese as well.  I might just need to get some peanut butter and celery (or apple) and start snacking on that.  I do get my protein in though - minimum of 2 scoops - 46g - but if I'm not eating like I should, I should get in at least another scoop I think.  I've been feeling fine - tired some - but with everything thats going on - I would say that's normal - LOL!  I will miss my scale though when we get on the truck - and figure I don't need a truck scale to weigh myself anymore - LOL!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Spinning wheels...

My brain is spinning and I can't go back to sleep... Momma woke up at 4 - did the bed/diaper change and couldn't go back to sleep.  I would have been up again if I had though because she was up again at 5 - LOL.  Its now 6 and I'm thinking MAYBE I could lay back down and doze, because its going to be a LONG and active day - with bunches of emotions happening for ALL of us (except Momma - but she will probably sense the emotions of everyone else).  I need to keep thinking with my head though - and make sure Gary does to.  If my heart starts thinking too much, it just might put a spanner in the works.  I KNOW we are doing the right thing (no matter how much it hurts)... just like when you have to discipline your child.  You know you have to do it for the good of the child - but your heart doesn't want the child to hurt - but you know in the long run it's better for the child to do it, than not.  Not that we are disciplining Momma - but in the long run it is better for her - but harder for us.  I don't know if that makes sense or not - like I said my brain is spinning.  Well I'm going to attempt to lay back down for what ever time I get... even if its just to snuggle up to Hubby... won't be able to do that after 3 weeks - at least for a couple months that is.  It will be the LONGEST we have been apart since we got married.  Even with him being an O/O before - he was only gone for maybe a month at the longest (during his training w/John).  There wasn't the internet/cell phones then (and I won't be raising a toddler) - so I'm hoping it will be easier this time.

Friday, December 10, 2010

And so it begins...

Gary is off taking his drug test and getting his second physical in a month.  When we were headed this direction he got a DOT physical done... then found out that the school/company do their own (to make sure the other doc didn't just 'sign off' on things) so the recruiter says... and you know you can ALWAYS trust the recruiter to tell you the truth :) Ours seem to do OK though - plus since Gary has driven before we have SOME idea what we are heading into - him better than me, but I'll learn.  This is really going to happen!!  There are so many emotions going on though.  My head knows that we are doing the best thing for Momma - as I'm scooting around the house (well typing right now) and she is parked in front of the TV as a Momma sitter.  That doesn't do anything for the social interaction.  She gets bored and we just can't sit there and 'entertain' her.  My heart though is going through a rough patch.  So is Gary's.  We both wanted to take care of her until she didn't need it any more - but in reality - that isn't a possibility.  Now not only will we not be doing it personally, but we won't even be in town!!  I know (in my head) that we are doing everything we can to make sure we find a GOOD place and we have people we love and trust in town for her. My heart though feels like we are abandoning her.  That's not a fun feeling.

To concentrate though on the good feelings though... the fence (to seal the back yard for Lynn and Morgan's dogs) is going in.  Sunday Momma will be moving into her new place - Monday Gary starts school - 6 days a week for 3 weeks... then off to 'training'... so I have 3 more weeks to get my HUGS in. 

I am so proud though of my daughter and her husband.  They are really stepping in and shouldering a lot!  Yes they are getting a lot - but still.  They could have said no, but they didn't.  Doing this the home and property will stay in the family and we will have a place to come back to.  They won't be doing it ALL alone, but its very different when we aren't just right down the street. I'm just glad they have invented the internet and cellular phones :)  I'm wanting them to feel that this is their HOME. When we took over the old house, I never did any of my OWN changes.  I regret that.  It will be hard to 'let go' the 'let them' - I did have some visions where I wanted to take the house - but time and money played their part and now this is happening. 

So now I need to get ready to go to work - Gary is on his way back from the stuff he needed to do.  Tomorrow is our Monthly Breakfast we have been doing for YEARS - it will be a 'goodbye' there - but we have one of our favorite waitresses on FB so can keep in touch - LOL!  Well bye for now...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Things in motion

Well things are 'in motion'... not just plans anymore.  Gary for sure is going in on Friday for physical and drug test (which we know he will pass - no problems there) - Sunday we will be moving Momma to her new home - and I have a good feeling about them and think it will be a wonderful move for Momma.  Monday Gary starts his schooling (as long as he passes his tests from Friday) the 13th!!  That begins 3 weeks of schooling to get his CDL ( basically a recert for him - he drove before) which IS in Sacramento - so after those 3 weeks he will get shipped via Greyhound to Fontana and hop on a 'trainers' rig for 5 weeks - then will drive solo until I can join him.  So as of the first of the year - Gary will not be in Sac.  I will begin my 3 weeks as soon as things get into a flow here.  Making sure Momma is settled and fitting in well, arm healing and paperwork done.  Bills set up so that we can pay them - Lynn and Morgan fully settled.  So depending on when that happens - I'm thinking 2 months or there about.  It will be hard - because I won't have Gary to be my rock near by.  Thank goodness for internet and cell phones - we WILL be able to be in touch verbally.

Really upset though about the care Momma got at the 'hotel' this last time.  Never before was Momma treated this way. We let them know that she had a broken arm.  That they needed to use the belt around her jacket so that her arm would be 1) elevated 2) supported.  Well they said (when we got her there) that they couldn't use it because it was a 'gait' belt and concidered a restraint... we said as long as you can use something to support her arm.  Well she didn't have anything on for that whole 2.5 days she was there.  'She wouldn't leave it on' - well DUH!!  Why do you think we did it the way we did AND had to keep reminding her that her arm was broken!!  Then as I'm complaining to the Admin today - she was saying how Momma hadn't slept for those two days.  NO WONDER she slept from 7 pm last night to 9 am this morning.  Another thing - if she would have slept like that for us - her bed would have been SOAKED - it wasn't - which means she wasn't getting the liquids like she should have.  That would all contribute to the lethargy and unstable gait she had yesterday. Then when we go to pick her up - after lunch - she had stool in her pants which I cleaned (I will say the aid offered) and it looked like it had been there a while because it wasn't just the underware that was soaked with stool. I am SO PISSED!!  I thank GOD she won't ever have to go back there!!  I will post that the name of the place is Citrus Heights Terrance - not recommended needless to say. 

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Walls

This has been such an emotional time (for the whole family, not just me) and for the most part my 'walls' have been intact.  Its a defense mechanism that I inherited from my childhood - I can place walls around things in my mind. (not always a good thing) Such as emotions and fears.  It helps me remain distanced from the situation and 'functional'.  Last night one of my walls crumbled - I was at the new home we were vetting for Momma and I was discribing one of the times Momma became 'agitated' - it was my fault because I was impatient with her - anyway - I almost lost it while I was talking about it.  You know when the wall crumbles it is really hard to build it back up again.  Another chink came out of the wall came today - we took Momma to the home we are hoping she is going to - and to watch her there with the other LOL (Little Ol' Ladies) and interact and feel comfortable enough to doze in her chair - it did a heart good!! At the same time though - there is a feeling that we are abandoning her... In my head I know we aren't - in my heart though I hear the echo of the promises made that "we will always take care of you - you will always be 'HOME'".  Sigh - I have to keep in my mind the picture she made talking and interacting with the other ladies and remember that she didn't have that at 'HOME'.  I have to remember she is in a place that will take good care of her and that there are two people that will be making sure of that since we won't be close by!! 

I'm afraid I haven't done as much with the business during all of this.  For that I appoligize.  I know folks understand, but I still feel bad.  Once things 'settle' a bit, we will get into a new routine.  So hang on - we aren't going anywhere (well the business isn't that is - LOL)

Monday, December 6, 2010

Scattered

This is going to be short and scattered - warning in advance!!  I am exahasted (and spell checker I don't think is working on this new computer so - oh well) - Gary and I looked at 4 homes for Momma today - like two of them.  Took BFF Rene and daughter Lynn over for their opinions and they saw totally differnet things than what Gary and I did... SO glad - they liked our number 2 better and after seeing it in their eyes - I agree.  Now if they will take Momma - we are taking Momma over there tomorrow so they can meet each other - hopefully it will be a match.  Please pray for us - ALL of us.  So many fears and uncertainties - we try to plan ahead as much as possible, but life is not a guarentee of anything.  My mind is so numb and overwhelmed right now - even though we have the night off from Momma I just hope I can sleep. 

Placement

Well saw 4 places today for Momma - the first one we saw is our first choice.  The others just didn't sit right.  This is SO not easy!!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Stuff getting done!!

Sigh... Momma in the hotel and we are getting stuff done!  Well maybe not as much as we could have, we played a little bit; but we were just enjoying the day - being able to walk at a normal pace - not having to be aware of the toddler and concider anything and everything that would effect her - not having to change but one 'diaper' today (love that one) - and tonight being able to sleep WITHOUT having to be hyperaware of sounds (such as the bell on the bedroom door).  Tomorrow we go look at 3 different 'homes'.  They are smaller, and will hold 6-8 residents.  I'm so glad that this option is available!!

We did make a purchase that I needed, but cringe at spending money.  Its a new laptop.  Before the truckdriving leap of faith, we were trying to 'revamp' the computer that Momma was using for solitare (until she forgot what a computer was) - it was having ALL types of problems.  Needless to say just as we get it up and running - we leap!!  Well I can't take a desk top in a truck, and I still want to run the business - plus our own household stuff - so I can't use a little netbook like Gary has for just web and email.  I need to run Quickbooks (it uses more memory than available on the netbook) - so we went for a basic/basic laptop, with just enough memory RAM to run QB.  (that's what I'm using to BLOG now) So I will be able to do all household stuff on this AND take it with me.  OH I have skype on this too - so if you want to skype me I'm ladyklingon :) I'm trying to stay intouch with everyone on Facebook - but the forums I'm not doing so good at.  Since my attention has drifted from Bariatric reading to Trucking reading I have been on a Trucking forum.  I need that info for the 'change' of careers.  I will try to touch back frequently to the WLS forums - though, I need THAT support and reinforcement too.

I have been (with all that is going on) loosing more weight.  I was holding steady there at 165ish for the longest time.  OK 165 to 161 (which was my lowest) - however this morning 158!! I feel fine - Gary says I don't look to thin - my body dismorphia fear is that I might get too thin and not recognise it!!  I know in my head that I'm now 'thin' but sometimes I don't FEEL it.  Its getting better though - I'm using that voice in my head to tell me I am - LOL!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Things be changing....

Case in point - the name of the blog.  I took out the 'Bariatrics' because even though I will still be in business for some products I won't be 'expanding' for a while... I'm going to maintain what I have and the services I have (delivery) and will be getting use to doing that from the road and having the kids help locally. 

I'm also 'letting go'... its a nice/scary feeling.  Letting go of what??  Possessions that is.  When I'm looking at what I want to keep I start thinking 'will I want that in my room' (Momma's old room) and do I want to hang onto it for a couple years for when Gary and I aren't long hauling anymore... but I'm expecting to do this for 10+ years or so.  So I'm becoming 'detached'.  Its hard to decide which momento I want to hang onto, because there are so many 'things' we have hung onto. I also don't know what type of stuff the kids will want to use/keep - but I'm going to leave that up to them... figure we are as far away as a phone call and email - its not like we are dying!! 

One thing that is going to be hard - if/when Lynn and Morgan have kids - I will be on the road.  I want to be here for them.  I want to be able to hold my grandchild BEFORE they learn to hold their head up - I want to smell that newborn hair smell - and I want them to burp all over me <mushy stuff I know> but that goes with burping them and having them fall asleep on you... such a trusting/calm/loving/protective time - sigh - <saying in a granny voice> I remember when Lynn was that age!!!

So that is what is happening in my life right now - just got back from a Support Group.  One I can attend because they are on the weekend.  I will miss the face to face support - I have enjoyed that. Maybe when we are on the road - we might be able to meet up with other folks and have a 'rolling' support system - that would be way cool!!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Blessings and Challenges

THE BLESSINGS

This is almost like a reverse dasha vue (or however you spell it)... about 1987ish Momma refinanced her house (we took over payments and moved in) and bought a motor home to go 'traveling' in. Which she did for a couple years - more like 2 long trips... then with the price of gas etc she decided to park it - and it became her home.  She parked it in the 'driveway' and it stayed there ever since.  Until today that is.  Today that motor home is no longer on the property!! Today reminded me so much of when we moved into Momma's house.  Lynn and Morgan are going to be moving into 'our house' and making it their own.  Its a happy and sad event.  Gary and I are going 'traveling' and the agreement is there will be a room for us when we decide to park the truck.  When we moved in - we filled 40 yard dumpsters FULL of stuff.  Today the yard looks totally different by the work and labor of the kids (they will always be kids to us) <3 WOW - what goes around comes around for sure.  This change in our lives will be as life changing as marriage (which has been a blessing - for I found my other half) and having a child (which is my other blessing and joy).  Yes a truck is a really small place - yes we will be moving almost continuously (7 days on for 1 day off); but we will be doing this together. 


THE CHALLENGES

One of the challenges will be giving up cooking on the road.  Sure I've heard of folks with a sm electric grill - but there isn't a whole lot you can do with those is there??  We will be living out of a truck - and truck stops.  This will make us get really creative to be able to eat healthy out there.  Also another challenge will be keeping track of the business and ordering supplies; basically letting go of some of the things I do and having someone else do them.  Then trusting them TO do them... so at this point - yes the business will stay in business.  I'm not joining Gary out on the road for at least 6 months. (health insurance has to kick in - then I have to be trained - and hopefully pass training!!) So there will be time to smooth out processes and train my local folk (my kids :) Also setting up paying bills and showing them the house maintainance stuff.  Stuff that I will need to 'let go'. Kinda hard to do - so I know I won't be perfect at it... but at least I will be away and not looking over their shoulders with the words 'you should have done <____>!!'

So anyway - back to reading a new forum - a truck driving forum - man to they talk a whole new language!!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Information overload and introducing the Bariatric Truckers :)

WOW my brain is fried!!  So much to do in so little time and details and tasks and time!!  So today Lynn and Morgan came over and Momma sat - we went to DMV and got my driving record. Over to the driving school/job recruiter and talked to her.  Then the most stressful part of the day - to a 'Skilled' facility to look at it for a possible place for Momma.  AH NO - can I just say at this point HELL NO.  I'm sure for the folk that need the place - its the perfect place for them, and it was clean, and the folks nice, but NO... she is not THAT bad yet.  So with Lynn helping me research/screen some numbers I finally talked to someone that didn't just refer me off to another number.  It appears to be an actual agency that helps folks in our possition find places for folks in Momma's possition... and they cover/deal with 4 different counties!  I told her we weren't choosy on the county - because we would not be available to visit that frequently anyway.  Since at this time I was TOTALLY stressed and was nearing my last straw (and near to tears) I think she could hear that in my voice... a lady will be coming out tomorrow to 'assess' Momma and we will go from there.

Business wise - this is what the plan is right now - the company PJ's is staying in business!!  We will stay 'on-line' and we will still have free local delivery (as well as shipping - LOL). It just won't be me making the delivery personally.  This business owner will be a Bariatric Trucker - LOL!

That seems to be the direction life is taking Gary and I right now.  This is 1) a dream we have had; that when we 'retire' in that mythical 'some day land'.  We would be truck drivers and see the US of A... well it seems like SOME DAY is coming to pass.  2) a way to save the house/property.  We weren't able to do it with Momma's income and my income alone and the job possibilites were not there in Sacramento for Gary.  Also with caring for Momma it seriously restricted what jobs and when Gary could even consider.  (I thank God that he placed me with whom I work right now... and that was 12+ years ago!  She/and the family have been wonderful and they are one of the things I will truly miss. I will visit though and there is always FaceBook - LOL) 3) Lynn and Morgan's lease on their apt is up really soon - they were trying to figure out which way to go next because their apt complex is - lets just say, not the best and leave it at that... plus with 2 dogs, places are hard to find.  I really think that this will work out all the way around.  It might have a rocky start - where we figure out where/what/when/who and stuff - but I think it will work... So the eventual plan (and with that word God starts laughing) is... Gary and I will be OTR (over the road) long haul team drivers - Momma will be cared for in a facility that will offer her socialization that we could not do and 24/7 care - Lynn and Morgan will have a house (with a room set aside for Gary and I when we are in town) to live in and our home will be cared for and will remain within the Johnson family!!  Win/Win/Win...

Boy when they said WLS was a journey - this is one road I didn't expect to go down!!  Speaking of down, I broke the 160# mark (159.6)... not intentionally though.  What with the stress, fever (which is getting better) and such - just haven't been 'hungry' - even at work which is really weird.  I usually tried to shove food in my face even when I'm not hungry and I'm not... <start Twilight Zone music here>

So now you are all caught up in what has been spinning my mind - and it has helped just putting in type... so I'll type more later :)