As I've said before - I have been driving and thinking about all the things I would love to 'blog' about... one of them is what 'all of this' has meant to me - personally. This is going to be a bit scattered - just like I am (most of the time - LOL). This training period was a time to prove to myself that I CAN do things on my own. Yeah - I had a trainer, but I was the one learning. For so long I have had self doubt and insecurity about my abilities - and nope that isn't all gone either - but I was able to do this. Without leaning on someone else to do it. Well I did lean on God - this has been a leap of faith - but another person I mean. Now will come the time that I team up with Gary - so I won't be 'on my own' any more - I needed to prove to myself 'I' could do it - and I did. So many times - with other things - I would hesitate and not do it (fixing something, or doing a project) because I would be worried that I wouldn't be able to right... that I would fail... or I would disappoint who ever. My 'fat' self I think hid behind that fear. My new self - the one that I'm working on - is trying to 'do' even with the fear. Taking the leap with faith. Man can it be scary, but oh so worth it!! I have been able to meet some WONDERFUL people, see some AMAZING things and actually DO something I have only dreamed about. Will this continue to work out - only God knows for sure - but I'm enjoying the ride :)
Well enough waxing poetically - LOL - today will be completing paperwork and some (more) orientation type stuff (I think). There will be a driving test - not the official DMV one - that I passed - but the company one. Little nervous about that - I want to do my trainer proud :) He keeps telling me that I'm doing good and that I'm one of the best he has had - but my self doubt still colors those comments with skepticism - sigh... like I said I'm a work in progress.