Day one done...

First day of 'school' is done and over with... LOTS of paperwork and studying.  SO glad Gary copied some of his study stuff, so I could study BEFORE I got down here... if I was going into this cold there would have been a bunch more wrong answers - LOL!  So out of 85 questions I missed 4 (ish) - LOL - the ish is that one of the questions had 2 right answers, but only one of them will be on the DMV test.  So with the missed 4 I got a 94% - I'll take it :)  Speaking of cold though - the room finally got to a comfortable 71 degrees - and the 'instructor' turned it down to 69!! All that cold air went to the floor and my feet FROZE!!  At the motel - they have the hot water in the shower set so it will only get 'warm' - (to decrease the time folks are in the shower probably) - so my loving husband took the ice bucket and filled HOT water from the sink and poured it in to the tub for me - so I could warm my feet - and you guys wondered why I love him - LOL!  Oh - and his trainer has his truck in the shop, so I get him for another day!!  Woo Hoo!! It is an unexpected blessing <3  Tomorrow is more studying and practice testing - to be ready for Wednesday when we go to the DMV to take the test for our permits... Not sure what we will do on Thursday - but Friday its out to the range to actually touch a real truck - LOL - did I say that with enough aw??  Well tonight I'm going to go to the DMV website and take a couple sample tests for my C and M1 - I don't want to loose my M1 !!

Ahhhh..

I know - it sounds corney - but 'he completes me' is the best I can discribe my feeling right now. We are in the motel room, both on the little ity bity table - playing on our respective computers - eating rolled up pastrami and swiss cheese - a mess spread out on the bed of stuff to take and save for 'our' truck - and I feel 'at home'.  I know tomorrow will start my educational process and I'm looking forward to it. Gary will be going back with his trainer and finish up his training (he has about a week left).  Do I miss Sac and the folks there - yes I do - but I know this is a natural progression... moving on to something else. 

In this 'new adventure' we did some walking this  morning.  Went into this 'mexican' store - regular grocery store, but almost everything also had spanish translations, spanish music, and spanish foods... found this powdered sugar free (aspartame free) drink mix that wasn't what is normally carried in the stores I would normally frequent. (Raley's Safeway etc) its called Klass and it tastes really good!!  Not the normal lemonade, ice tea stuff either.  We got the Pina (pineapple) and the Melon (cantelope) - such a nice change!!  Just the start of the 'new' things I'm looking forward to finding.  Well new for me that is - LOL!

Today is the day...

Today is the day that I leave everthing that I know and step into the unknown... well except for Gary - I know him - LOL!  He is at the motel already and will be there all weekend... so I'll get to see him before I start my side of this journey. 

I have such a hodge/podge mix of feelings going around and around inside me. Didn't really do much sleeping last night - my mind was WAY to busy.  Guilty for leaving, and leaving what I feel are our responsibilities (Momma) - but I know we covered that/her as much as possible.  Sad for leaving the comfortable routine, the people and the lifestyle I know.  Scared of the unknown and possibilites of failure.  Nervous about the process.  Grateful for friends and family for being there and stepping in when needed/asked!! Excited (yes that is in there too) about new beginnings and adventures.  There is even a bit of guilt for feeling so excited about leaving...

As I type this I am 2 hours away from leaving the house and 4 hours away from leaving Sacramento.  Wish me luck :D

Bags are packed...

Whew - I think I got it all... at least I hope so.  Two bags packed, and I know I will only be able to take one on the truck w/me when I train.  The other one will be 'stored' at the terminal for when Gary gets 'our' truck.  So that is the way I separated my stuff (for the most part).  I had to get things ready today, even though I don't leave until Saturday - because since I took yesterday off to get my new looks (tooth pulled) I'm going to make up hours tomorrow.  Which means no time to pack.  I wish I didn't have to do that though... I'm realizing just how little time I have left to be with my daughter and her husband.  I know - there is Skype and FB and the cell phone - but you all know it's not the same.  I used that argument when Gary left - it helps, but its not the same... so even with the excitement of starting something new, there is the sadness of missing my kid.  I know in my head that she is all grown up, and it is normal and natural for there to be that separation; even healthier for both of us to have this separation.  So that I don't try to 'solve' everything and get in the way of her 'solving' things.  So not only is this a wonderful opportunity for Gary and I to do something we have dreamed and talked about... its also good for Lynn and I. 

Its also hard for me to be leaving the 'other' family... the little one I watch and his family.  I have been with them for almost 12 years now.  I have seen them all grow up.  I wonder if he will miss me - in a way I hope not too much, but just a little :) I know I will miss them...

So tomorrow - I'm going to take my daughter and SIL out for breakfast.  A nice one - with all the trimmings... then head to work.  Get off at 11 pm and be at the airport on Saturday morning just after 9 am... plane takes off just after 11 and I will be in Fontana a little after 12.  Not sure what time or even IF I will see Gary.  Depends on if they get a load or not...

I'm planning on continuing this BLOG, but you might get several days worth at a time w/longer gaps between.  I have no idea about the internet connections available.  So we will see :)

Speed Bumps...

I really don't like speed bumps!!  My type of speed bumps are unexpected things that catch you when you are in the process of doing something life changing.  Such as when I had a 'thing' on my lung, before I had surgery.  Thankfully just some good antibiotics made THAT go away.  This time I had a 'bump' on my gum and a swollen lymph node.  Not really PAIN, but pressure and uncomfortable.  Now knowing that I would not be near any medical facilities for a good long while, unless it was an emergency - I had to get it looked at right away.  Me thinking "I get a shot in the butt of some antibiotic, and some pills - I'll be fine" - yep, God was laughing at my 'plan' again!!  Yes I had an infection - but it was bad enough (I evidentally had if for a while) that I have lost some bone - and they had two ways of treating it.  To save the tooth (what there was left of it) they could have come in (through bone) from the root side and cleared the infection away that way, or by not saving the tooth and getting it out of the way to get to the infection.  Well I chose to have the tooth pulled... sigh... and with me leaving on Saturday, there isn't time for me to get a 'new' one in there (plastic bridge type of thing).  So now I have a missing tooth, right in front!! Sigh... thank goodness my husband already loves me - and not just for my looks - LOL!  Maybe it was God testing my resolve - what are you willing to give up to do this?? ... house/check - job/check - being there during your daughters pregnancy/check - front tooth/check... I wonder if there will be any other speed bumps before I leave??

Looking forward, not back...

I really need to remind myself to do this!!  I have spiralled myself into a dark hole.  I have been looking back, and the light is at the end of the tunnel, not behind me.  I have been saying goodbye to friends and family - which is good - although I have to remember it isn't 'goodbye' (I'll never see you again) goodbye... its 'goodbye' (I won't see you for a while) goodbye.  I've been looking at the house and the life I was expecting to have - and mourning the loss of THOSE expectations.  I need to focus on new expectations, and the new challenges, adventures and memories I will be blessed with.  Its not just me that this is hard on though - and I DO understand that.  I have tried to make it easier (not sure how I'm doing with that) and I hope I have. 

So to look forward:
I am hoping to see Gary this weekend.  His trainer is taking his home time and since he lives in/near Fontana he will be dropping Gary off at the terminal - So one bright light is that I will get to see Gary!!  Another bright light is the adventure we will be doing together.  The memories we will be making and sharing - the good and the bad... but even the bad, when shared, aren't THAT bad. Looking forward to my daughter and her husband making a home for themselves - and our grandbaby. Seeing what 'their' plans are for the house and property :) Another light is that I will FINALLY be able to see the US.  I have wanted to see more of the country for YEARS, now I can.  Most of it will be from the interstate, but there will be times when we will be able to 'explore' :)  I'm looking forward to trying my hand at taking pictures... not sure how good they will be, but I will have fun trying - LOL!

See - now that I'm concentrating on the forward, and the good parts of the forward journey, I feel better :)

this is a test sent from my phone...