Bariatrics

bar·i·at·rics[bar-ee-a-triks]

–noun ( used with a singular verb )

a branch of medicine that deals with the control and treatment of obesity and allied diseases.

You know - it was kinda embarrassing yesterday - I was talking to a bank manager while we were working on some of my volunteer stuff and I mentioned my business PJ's Bariatrics... she asked - what is bariatrics - I just kind of sat there with my mouth open... how do you describe it - its a type of surgery? Its what I had done?  I was at a total loss for words - LOL - 'I' knew what it was, but I couldn't tell someone else what it was... so for anyone else that needs to tell someone just what 'bariatrics' is - above is the official definition per www.dictionary.com

Mustard...

This was sent to me via e-mail - yeah one of 'those' pass along because they are funny jokes... well this one had both Gary and I rolling...

Mustard
I Love Mustard. (This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father).
 

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.  
The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers..  
 I love mustard.

 I had no napkin.

 I licked it off.

 It was not mustard.

 No man ever put a baby down faster.

 It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my
 tongue protruding out.

 With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine
 shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.

 Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my
 wife Said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard
 Poupon.'' 

  When you stop laughing, pass it on.