Frustrated, bored and waiting...

So we got to AZ to drop our load way early... So I tried to line up medical insurance for us, since our Cobra will be running out in a couple months. HOWEVER we have a 'pre-existing' condition of WLS. We are now healthier than we have been in YEARS, but can't get insurance in CA... But if we lived in OK we could... LOL! There is my frustration for the day. Still have more calls to make and ideas to peruse... I'll just put it on my todo list - LOL! So the bored part... While waiting, after I got disheartened about insurance, we started looking at other possible routes to our usual I-17 to I-40... There is US-60... On the Atlas it looks OK, but not highlighted as STAA... Maybe this is why... ARG! Using my IPad and can't figure out how to post a picture... GRRR! Anyway if I'm your friend on FB it's posted there... And it has one section that is very hairpin turn-ish... Not good with a LONG A$$ trailer!! Well only 40 more minutes until we can head to our delivery, to again wait... I hear this place takes HOURS... Sigh...

Back on the road again...

Yep... Back rolling then waiting... LOL! It was a productive time at home, and unplanned. We took advantage of it though :) got to squeeze the kids and the grand. Man is growing FAST! Also noticed the increased work done outside the house.. Thank you! Now we are on a mission though... To get as many miles under us (without killing us) until August when we are planning to enjoy our grand's first birthday. That is of course if God doesn't laugh at our plans again :/ he has a way of doing that! So my Mother's day gift was an iPad of my own... That way Gary can play his games and I can read. Now he is having fun trying to get the old iPad to recognize HIM as the owner and not me (how it was originally set up)... You know programs like 4square, based off of the Apple Registration. Hey it's keeping him busy and entertained (and very vocal) while we are waiting for our load time. Well just thought I would check in, say hi... And now I'm off to read my book... One of the free ones... And it's turning out pretty good :D

Fights and battles... So tired of them!

Not with the driving so much as with other things in our lives. Medi-Cal for one... Bless Gary, he has taken that battle from my shoulders! It has been 3 months so far and we might have caught a break by him actually talking to a supervisor ... At least we can hope! Then there are the weekly 'discussions' with payroll re: our settlements/detention/reimbursements etc... I wonder just how many drivers take their settlements at face value and never check? Then dealing with our DM that doesn't really communicate with us and has an attitue that can be VERY abrasive! Then there is the mortgage... I can't believe I am going to pick up that battle again and try to get the load 'modified'... It was a year and a half battle last time and they won by wearing me down... So we let everything else slide... Then the battle of juggling which bills to pay, and which not to (also known as robbing Peter to pay Paul)... and other concerns that I have to deal with internally and not talk about... Because no matter how I try to express my concerns, I get made to feel like the bad guy or tyrant or bitch... Just a sensitive issue all the way around. Then there are concerns to what will happen in the future (house maintainance/mail/bills vs. OTR trucking)... Yeah, easy to say rest it on the Lord's shoulders... But we still have to work towards a goal and plan for what we are expecting... Not knowing what his plans are going to be. All of this equals stress, frustration, pain and depression... Love my Husband... Love my family... Like my job... Just hate the battle life can be sometimes! But I guess without that battle, the good times wouldn't look so good... I just wish for more of them... Until then though, I refuse (I am my father's daughter!!) to quit!! I will keep on 'going with the flow', and will look until I find the good parts of the day. I refuse to let life get me down (for long ... LOL!)!!!

What a difference a minute can do...

So WOW - life can change in an instant... REALLY greatful it didn't today, but it could have.  We have the truck in the shop for some scheduled work.  I passed out on the bed - OK sleeping really well and deeply - so Gary went to pick up a rental car (Enterprise - they picked him up) and left me sleeping... Not even 10 minutes later I get a call - - 'Honey I've been in an accident' - - The best words came just after those words - 'I'm OK' - Thank you God!!  So I put shoes on and head 1 1/2 blocks and keep him company while a police report was done and then we head over to Enterprise... and the day continues...

So we are relaxing and taking advantage of the down time... sure we have 'wait' time when in the truck, but this is true down time... no time to have to be ready to go - except Sunday when the truck is suppose to be done. 

This downtime I think is so needed... we haven't had any since the first part of February and that wasn't really 'down' time since we were dealing with Momma stuff... I have slept on and off all day... Gary has napped and relaxed on the couch in the room.  We at first were going to go out and do 'something' - not sure what - maybe the gift Lynn gave Gary for his birthday - but just 'sitting' is feeling SO good... we might do something tomorrow - or maybe not - and even that feels good.  Oh sure there are things I 'should' do... but this just feels good to relax and 'veg' out... haven't done that in AGES!

Just think - since last June we have traveled over 174,000 miles!! Amazes me sometimes :)

Windows...

Well it looks like one door is closing, but I don't see any windows opening... Which hallway do I go down to find this window that is suppose to open?

What am I talking about?  Well it looks like we might be coming off the road... unless we decide to pack everything we want to keep in a storeroom and sell everything else.  Which at this point, I would go for, but it would just about destroy Gary I think (I could be wrong about that though).  That would take us out of most of our debt and we wouldn't have to worry about a 'place' to maintain or the bills that go with one... just a storeroom.  The hard part about that though - the place has been where he grew up, we raised our daughter, we built a new house.  We were hoping for it to be our 'nest egg' and for it to be passed down... yeah... well at this point, I don't see that happening.  However, maybe it is for the best... fresh starts and all that.  Learning how not to hang on to the past... OK - I'm trying to blow rainbows up my backside - but I have to do something or I feel like I will fall in such a slick walled well that I might not be able to get out of it.

So I'm requesting prayers for that window to have some light shining in it... so I know where to look... and until then I will just put one foot in front of the other and continue on...

Blurred...

The days all blurr together out here... there is a steady routine of wake up, drive, try to work on things, eat a meal, sleep, wake up and drive - and the cycle continues... then there is the 'wait' time for pick ups or deliveries - those times we tend to 'relax'... and so no real 'work' gets done.  However there is so much I feel like I 'should' be doing... I know, it's towards the end of the month, and this is when I 'cycle' around my well - LOL! So I'm blogging instead :)

We have been running pretty well... back and forth, back and forth... which is a good thing.  I'm really hoping this next settlement will look decent.  The last 'home time' REALLY cut a chunk out of us. 

So the tasks I'm trying to deal with are:

Health insurance - as Lease Ops we are 'self employed' so no company insurance.  We do have 'Cobra' right now, so we are under a 'qualified' insurance - but we couldn't get individual insurance right of the bat because of our 'major surgeries' in April of 2009 - we have to wait for the 3 years after - otherwise there would be 'pre-existing' conditions - sigh - so its time to start looking, because Cobra is only good for 16 months...

Momma - I need to follow up with Medi-Cal - and make sure she will be covered... how to do THAT long distance is going to be fun.

The house - need to figure out what we are going to do with the house... the kids are looking for their own place (and that is a good thing).  However we will need to think of maintainance, cost and mail - etc.

Weekly bookkeeping of truck driving - balancing the settlements, making sure we get paid for everything.

Regular monthly bill paying...

So with this going around in my head, I tend to procrastinate and let things build and build until it looks like the Great Wall of China in front of me.  What I need to do is put my big girl panties on and just DO IT!

Well time to get off line - need to fix dinner then sleep - so I can wake up to drive....

Accomplished ...

Well some what anyway... Rather proud of this 50 year old broad!! Cleaned out the front gutters... Mowed the front lawn... Dishes done... Played with my grand son... Vacuumed... Felt good to be physically active.

Lynn also made an awesome dinner... Salmon wrapped in parchment paper with seasonings, lemon, zucchini and onion. First course was a banana nut squash soup. She added rosemary as seasoning and that turned out really well! She is really doing well with the cooking.

Gary worked almost all day on taxes... Momma's are done and ours are almost there... Good news is we put enough aside!! Woo Hoo!!

Hoping to finish up with Momma's paperwork tomorrow, then pack up the truck Tuesday and head off on Wednesday... Need to make up some miles so our plan will be to push our clock ... Then take a 34 ... Then push some more!

So even with stress, some conflict and tears... This home time is doing ok...