Fingers tied...

There is so much I would like to type about, but I don't want to air my frustrations to much in public... It's just really irritating when we are asked not to do things, and we have to hold ourselves back for fear of hurting someone's feelings... But then things happen and it appears like we are being so used... When do we stop trying to look out for others feelings, and start looking out for us? Sigh...

Well these last two weeks we have been run pretty well... Got a settlement with over 6000 miles! THAT'S what I'm talking about!! They are being nice and are running us past Sacramento so we can see the kids... Might not be a long visit, but that's OK.. Stopping and visiting doesn't pay the bills!!

Doing this truck driving we were so hoping to be able to pay off bills.. So far we are barely keeping our head above water, and we are still snorting some up our nose!!

I sure hope we will be able to keep the house, but if we can't get ourselves out of this hole, we might just have to... We HAVE to think about when we aren't able to work any more... What will we live on? Social security?? Yeah right... So anyway... Stopping now to take a shower where thousands have showered before...

The view from my office is STILL awesome though!!!

Less than a week away...

Well it's almost Christmas, and we won't be 'home' for it... So weird! Well in a way we'll be home, since our truck is really our home right now... But not with family... This will be the first year we haven't gotten Lynn a stocking... Or maybe last year was... Yeah I think last year was.. I'm getting OLD!!

Well we just finished our last delivery, and are parked at a truck stop waiting for a load to get us back to AZ. I did request a 'drive by' to Sacramento, so we can see the kids (man do I miss them) but we'll see if that comes to pass... Not going to hold my breath...

Guess I'm feeling a bit on the downside... Still think we did the right thing, but it's becoming more and more like work. Ah to not have to get dressed to head to the bathroom... Or having to wait 25 miles until then next rest stop... It's the little things that you really start to miss... I actually miss having to do housework... LOL! I think in a way it was therapeutic for me... I would wash dishes when I was frustrated or angry... Those pots would SHINE .. LOL!

I sure do hope the $$ starts being more than paycheck to paycheck, and even then not catching all the bills. At times I almost wish we had just sold everything to pay off everything so we could start fresh... But I guess we are so ingrained to need our STUFF... Sigh... Yep that's about all I can do right now is sigh...

Well by for now, and I will try to think of only GOOD things and pull myself out of this funk... Not easy sometimes though...

New Fleet

Well the new fleet has started, and we are getting slipped into a routine... I think. The first week and a half was harsh miles wise, but the head DM (she) seems to be trying to make it right. So for now we will go with the flow. This last weekend though, if I wasn't getting over a cold I probably would have complained. There was to much time on it... What that means is that we got to were we needed to be, then had to sit... Gary got a 34 out of it, and I would have by now, but we moved to where we didn't have to pay for parking, and got WiFi... Down loaded a BUNCH on their bandwidth for $5. I should get mine by it's my turn to drive though.

Man getting a cold out here sucks! Can't take the types of meds you can at home, because THEY make you sleep... Mr. DOT doesn't like us taking those types of things. So it's been zinc, warm broth, saline rinses and thanks to the time on this load... REST... Still have the last little bit of it, but no lingering cough. It never got into my chest (thank you LORD!).

Well we are back rolling and will be delivering this load, then picking a short 350 mile one to basically pay our DH miles, then the last preset sends us back to AZ... For our next run out :) Still not the 5000 miles per week we are looking for, but better than what we were getting!

New Fleet

Not quite a week now with this 'new' fleet... Not real impressed... I sure hope things improve. Gary is like 'at least she is keeping us moving' ... But the miles are not adding up... Waiting to be loaded/unloaded eats up our rolling time... SIGH... So not sure how things will work out for this weekend. We will give it/her another week, if things don't start improving we will look for another dedicated fleet...

Almost...

We are almost done with hometime... So nice seeing family and friends, but it's time to get moving again... I'm sure the kids are tired of having the 'rents' home, and even thought we built this house and lived in it for 3 years... It's just not our home anymore... Oh sure we own the house, but it's not home. Our white freightliner is our home now. I will leave it at that for now... It's hard to look back and realize everything we have lost... Randy (a friend of ours) brought his motorcycle over so we could ride it if we wanted to... I took him up on it, but while riding I was so sad... I loved my motorcycle, but it hasn't been ridden now for over a year. It's slowly getting ruined by just sitting there, but we can't ride while we are out on the road... Just one of the 'things' we have lost... Maybe it's a lesson for us to not put so much into THINGS... And boy is it a HARD lesson! Yeah getting a bit depressed... Got to stop thinking of everything we have lost and start thinking of good things... Gary's surgery went great! Out health is still doing good, even with the few extra pound we have gained... But that is a struggle everyone has. Gary and I are still in love with each other even after living in a walk in closet size home... We have a wonderful daughter who is happily married and has a beautiful son (our grand son)... Just what we wanted for her, to be happy... So we will go back on the road in our 'home' and take it one day at a time... It's all we can do...

Update...

Ok, I confess I haven't been to forth coming about why such a long home time. Well we found out Gary had a cataract in his left eye. For a driver to have worsening vision, well that's not such a good thing. So we didn't want to broadcast that just in case things didn't work out well... But they did :) What things you ask? Well the cataract surgery of course. He now has better vision in his left eye uncorrected than his right eye - LOL! So we have the final check next Monday, and will be back on the road Tuesday... With the new fleet, or at least that's the plan. I'm just hoping that this new fleet will get us the miles! If not, then we will go fleet shopping again... I'm learning that you have to become the squeaky wheel in this company and I can squeak good too, just ask my family - LOL!

Homeward bound...and continued at home...

YEAH!! This time (even though expensive) is SO needed!!  It will give us a sitting still - repower break.  It will also give us a chance to start on the new 'dedicated' fleet.  We tried before to get more miles, but it slipped back to the point where we had to complain again... I don't like doing that because our DM is a really nice person, but we also have to think of our 'business' and our bills... she just wasn't pushing enough and getting us the miles.  Its suprising that after we 'bitched' we got a 4 digit run - AND after a fiasco with getting us an MT trailer, and 'bitching' some more - the run got improved and all the way to CA.  So time will tell if things will improve mile wise.

And now to continue from home:

LOL - seriously - I didn't get it 'finished' so thought I would continue where I left off.  Well we made it home, and on the day requested.  That was a nice surprise :) So now we have 10 days - and I don't like sitting this long, but it was needed.  Not just for our sanity, but we also had some things we needed to take care of at home. There are just somethings we can't have others do for us - sigh - Oh well...

Got a cool gift from the kids - an ipad - some really cool features and apps.  We have 'cheap' phones so never played with apps... so its all new for us.  We still have our laptops though - for business (and blogging) stuff...

I weighed myself here at home 185#  OMG!  I really have to do something... that is OVER doctors goal.  So I am making a concerted effort to watch what I eat and go back to the basics.  So not easy!

We are taking this time to put the truck in the shop for some service too... there is a vibration in the front end (or at least that's where it feels like its coming from) that hits about 40-45 mph... we already had a three axle alignment done, but it didn't really help at all... plus some of these roads have potholes that needs a VW bug to fill!!  So we are having them check the 'king pins' and 'bearings' - yeah like I know what they are - LOL!  Then getting ANOTHER three axle alignment. Sigh... this is going to be an expensive 10 days!! 

I did take the time and let our current DM know we were going dedicated.  She says she understands, but we had to take care of us, and she wasn't able to get us the miles we needed.  So we will see how things go and keep our fingers crossed XX!!

Now the question - am I still glad we chose to drive truck - yes. Do I miss what I had in the past - yes.  Do I realize that things change, and sometimes that change isn't easy - yes. 

Well back to relaxing on the couch and watching TV and playing with my Grandson and visiting with the kids - had a full day and planning on another one tomorrow... bye for now :)