Rest in Peace Momma...

We got a call yesterday that Momma had passed. It's was sort of expected at some time, but it's never 'expected'. She was in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's disease, not knowing anyone any more... Also non ambulatory since she broke her hip. The call came as we were near our Salt Lake City terminal, and I must say the weekend DMs were great. No questions asked, just OK drop the trailer and since there wasn't a load heading west we are now bob tailing 650 miles to Sac... The benefits of leasing :/ no idea how long we will be there, or what all needs to be done... Bless you Momma... You are and will be missed!

Damn, Damn and Double Damn...

So frustrated with myself... Health Insurance... one of my major concerns and sticking points... we were getting COBRA but due to not getting mail the way I'm use to (hard to get it delivered to the truck) and having a system of filing and reminders etc... I missed a payment - and the amount due had changed - so there was a pending balance which didn't get paid - well through all that gobbily goop - needless to say we now are flying without a net!!  This will make it SO very hard to get insurance because we are not at this time covered by insurance... also with our 'history' of gastric bypass we have a 'pre-existing' condition. I was already having fits trying to find 'affordable' insurance with that!!  Sigh...

Yeah - bad point about living in a truck - staying on top of what bills are and what needs to get paid.  So totally frustrated - but I guess to look at the 'bright side' - I now have the funds available to pay the student loans I haven't been able to pay - which are now over the amount we paid for our first home!! 

Other than these and other concerns at 'home' - things are going well - LOL!  Yeah - just got to take it a day/minute at a time... if I don't, I would go crazier than I am now :)

Faith, Family, Friends and Attitude!!

All so very important!

It so amazes me what can be accomplished with that combination. Faith - to trust that what is meant to be, will happen.  Even if its not what you want or expect - it will, in the long run, be what needs to be.  Family - Growing up my family was 'different' - not in the usual 'different' as in divorce or anything like that. Different in that my Mom, while there, really wasn't 'there'; but my sisters filled that void as I was growing up. However - as I married and had a family of my own; it showed me the importance of 'family'.  My MIL took me under her wing, my husband is not only my husband, but also my best friend. My daughter is my treasure and my grandson my joy... Friends (both in person and virtual) give laughter and support. Companionship and comoradery (however you spell that)... However attitude is also so very important.  You can have Family and Friends all pulling for you - you can have faith - but the power of the mind is AMAZING!!  You can talk yourself into being sick - you can talk yourself into depression - it can even work the other way around.  Sure, somethings it might not work on - you can't talk yourself out of a broken bone - but you can decide not to let it bring you down. Yeah - I know - easier said than done... and I don't do it that well myself... but it is with faith - that I believe everything will turn out OK...

What brought all this on??  My sister 12 years ago was diagnosed with breast cancer - she battled it and survived!!  At the time the diagnosis was very bad, but with her faith, family, friends and attitude she won.  She is now having to start the battle again - she knows how to do this - she has 'won' before and will again... I have faith!!

Time continues...

I seem to loose track of time... It all mushes together until I look back and realize just how much time has passed. Just as an idea of where we have been... 6/6 picked up in Clovis, NM ... Delivered 6/7 in Marathon, WI... PU 6/7 in Greenbay, WI & DEL 6/9 in Clovis, NM... 6/10 PU in Muleshoe, TX & DEV in Phoenix, AZ on 6/11... PU 6/11 in Phoenix, AZ to Olive Branch, MS and from there on 6/12 to Allentown, PA on 6/14... Then a short 63 mile shuttle from Jonestown, PA to Bethlehem, PA on 6/14... Then this morning we picked up in Palmyra, PA and are heading to Ogden, UT... Then we are lined up for a load from Burley, ID to AZ... WEEEEE!! Now you can see why things all merge together... It is a non-stop cycle... Sleep (or try to) drive then try to 'relax' before sleeping again... OH and somewhere in there try to do the accounting for our 'business' in a moving truck. SO glad I don't get car sick... LOL! We are really looking forward to the first week in August. We are taking a week, and this time it's not because Momma broke a hip, or needs to be placed in a facility... It's for our grandson's first birthday!! While we are there we have SO many things we want/need to do. Lord only knows if we can get it all done. I'm praying that some of the things we think we are going to need to do will already be done... That would be nice, but ... Sigh ... Other things might get in the way :/ So we will see how that goes. So right now I have about 3 hours until its my shift, so I'm going to cruise through Facebook and maybe read a page or two of my Kindle... Even though I 'should' start my battle with the mortgage company... THAT is one thing I am dreading and have been procrastinating... Even knowing I shouldn't... With that battle I will request prayers and strength!! oh and don't forget perseverance...LOL! Sigh, but to do all that, I have to at least begin...

Hormones!!

Arg - I really don't like them!!  I sure can tell when the end of the month/first of the month rolls around... not only am I looking at bills (which is depressing in its self) but every tone of voice or word said or imagined sets me spirialing down my well...  Daughter offers (since she and the neighborhood are having a yard sale) to put some of our stuff out - I'm going ok,,, I guess,,, Gary is like NO... I hear frustration in daughter's voice, because she is just being nice and thinking of us... I hear frustration in Gary's voice because we are working SO VERY hard to keep what we have and not lose what we have fought so hard to get.  Yeah I know its just STUFF but its stuff that means something - that at one time we were comfortable and successful??  Thinking about selling makes it feel like we have some how failed... and who knows, we might yet fail... fail to keep the house and or our belongings... fail to have anything to pass to our daughter and grandchild/children... fail to provide for ourselves in our 'retirement'... Damn... why do I post when I'm feeling down - LOL??  Really I'm not always this way.  There have been some really good times out here too - I do enjoy the view from my office... I do enjoy the 'freedom' although we aren't as 'free' as it appears.  Just being home for that little bit has put a kink in the bills we were trying to get paid.  I have been looking (half heartedly) for a company that would be/run more locally... but Gary doesn't like to quit... I just have no idea how we are going to be able to keep things running and afloat and maintained... sigh... I really don't like this time of the month!! Reality hits harder and is harder to ignore...